These Seven Tips distill my learning of what helps clients and of course me - to lead calmer, more resilient and meaningful lives.

1) Find solvable problems
We are problem solvers and worries come when we tackle problems that we cannot solve. So chunk down, pick and mix. Don’t worry about next years pay rise or a big family crisis. Instead think about practical steps and problems you can hold in your hands.

2) Name, Shame and Scale
Humans are unique in that they can be aware of their feelings and not just be them. So give those feelings you don’t like (anxieties, rages, resentments) a name whenever they arise and push them away and see how quickly they fade – down low to say a 2 from a high 8.

3) Put a line in the sand and keep this side of it
We all can lose our cool (even Zidane). So draw an imaginary line on the lounge carpet which you know you should not ever go over. And then walk towards it and away from it and towards it until you discover how to stay this side of it.

4) Change a memory
You don’t feel good about that holiday or that insult or that as a child you were not encouraged enough. Well then shut your eyes and focus and really see it and feel it differently – as you would like it to be. Because no memory is fixed – they are all formed in a shimmering web of change and movement.

5) See it differently
When we are low or confused or stuck we will have a fixed way of viewing our situation – which often will make the problem larger, more intractable or more permanent than it is. So see it differently – as temporary (its just happening now), or an attempt at a solution (still waiting to find the right answer) or just a small thing (by counting your blessings and the good things in your life). Its amazing what you can do without actually trying that hard.

6) Find your tail enders
So what exactly is stopping you? Affirm to yourself something you would really like or you would like to be and then say to yourself – ‘yes but’ or ‘but if that happened then I would lose this’ or ‘I can’t have that because I am ……….? And see what the answers are. For these are your tail enders - the limiting beliefs which like the water in the ocean, the fish never see.

7) Be present whenever the thought occurs
Shut your eyes and feel the taste of your tongue in your mouth, put your hand on your knee and feel the fabric or skin on your palm and fingers. Listen carefully to the silence around you. Discover what you smell and can see (with your eyes closed).

 JUST BEING THERE